Dash Mercury: And The Rest
Here’s the last installment of what I have written of this story I’ve been posting here in lieu of actual content. I’ll follow up soon with a synopsis of what was supposed to happen from this point, although the level of detail on that will be limited by the fact that I didn’t have exactly all the details worked out yet (which is part of what I contribute my lack of completion to). I’ll also include a post mortem of where and how I think it all went wrong.
By the way, the last chapter includes my favorite joke in the entire text. Try to guess what it is.
Chapter 16: Meanwhile, on Perdition
Meanwhile, on the Perdition, Effulgia was terrorizing the bridge crew. “Find them!” she shrieked. “I want their corpses!”
“Your Ladyship,” Abbazia said indulgently, “their ship exploded over the forest of Clod. It is very unlikely that anyone survived. If they did, the Plant-Men will inform us.”
“I won’t wait!” Effulgia insisted. “Bring me their heads by the end of the day, or yours and your crew’s will take their place.”
“Yes, Your Ladyship.” Abbazia took the threat in stride. Not because he knew she would not make good on it. Quite the contrary, in fact. Rather, he knew that upcoming events would both distract her and give him ample excuse for not following through on her unreasonable demands. Still, it might not be the worst idea to prod those events forward just a bit. “I will send word to the Emperor at once that the arrival of this ship, yourself, and the device we discovered will be delayed until your thirst for vengeance is appeased. Communications Officer!”
“Yes, sir!” the Communications Officer replied.
Effulgia interrupted the exchange. “Just a moment, Captain. I will speak to my father personally. Prepare for transmission from my suite.”
Looking away, Captain Abbazia smirked. “Yes, Your Ladyship.”
#
Effulgia returned to her quarters, quickly bathed and changed into a new outfit, reworked her hair and cosmetics, and sat down in front of the communications terminal. She pressed a button, signaling the Communications Officer to initiate the call.
Effulgia’s mother, Marla Virago, answered. “Hello, dear,” she said in greeting. “How are you today?”
“Hello, mother,” Effulgia replied, emphasizing the latter word in such a way to connote both hatred and disgust. “I must speak to Father at once on an urgent matter.”
“Again, dear?” Marla questioned. “You spoke to him only this morning. He is very busy ruling the universe, you know.”
“Get him for me, Mother. Now! I still don’t understand why he hasn’t had you executed yet, blithering harpy.”
“Effulgia!” Marla snapped. “That is no way to speak to your mother. You know I only want what’s best for you.”
“Now, mother. Tell him it concerns the matter we discussed earlier.”
Dabbing away tears she fought to keep inside, Marla turned away from the screen, said, “Yes, dear,” stood, and walked away. Bland, sterile music started to play. Effulgia examined her fingernails, bored, while she waited.
Eventually, the music stopped and Emperor Lao came into view. He was not smiling. “Effulgia, your mother tells me you had some harsh words for her. What have I told you?”
Effulgia recited, “Keep my anger bottled up inside so that no one knows my weakness.”
Emperor Lao nodded and smiled. “Now, what is it you want? I was in a budget meeting.”
“The people I told you about this morning. They escaped, Father. They kidnapped me and escaped.”
Lao sat puzzled. “They didn’t kill you? How odd.”
“One of them tried, Father. They had help. I worry that another rebellion is growing.”
“Let me worry about that, Daughter. Do you have the machine you mentioned before?”
“Yes, Father, but that is why I called. We are pursuing the escaped prisoners. We will be delayed until we can find them.”
“Nonsense, Effulgia.” Lao waved his hand dismissively at the screen. “That’s what we have vast numbers of faceless troops for. Bring the machine here at once. I have spoken to the High Minister of Science about it, and he is most excited about studying it. Meanwhile, I will mobilize the forces in the area to retrieve those who slipped away from you. All right? Good,” he answered himself without waiting for Effulgia to say anything different. “I expect you here as soon as possible. See you then. Now, I must get back to my meeting before the minister of security spends all my money.” Lao stood up and walked away without a backward glance. Eventually, the screen faded to gray.
Effulgia sat and fumed at the blank screen. “How dare he?” she finally screamed to no one in particular. “How dare he order me around like one of his minions? His own daughter!” She ran over to the bed and collapsed into it, sobbing uncontrollably into one of her pillows. There she stayed for ten minutes, shuddering with the release of pent-up rage.
Finally, she sat up, composed herself, took a couple of deep breaths, and touched a button on her bedside table. “Captain Abbazia, recall your men and set course for the Imperial Palace.”
He acknowledged the order, but she wasn’t listening.
Chapter 17: 2005, Ohio
“This is Chad Newsguy. Welcome to the Noon News. Our top story: A college student and her grandfather disappear from a local retirement community. The call went out last night to police when a bed check revealed that one of the residents of Shady Estates Retirement Community was not present. Investigation quickly revealed that no one had seen or heard from the man, Archie Ulysses Grant, since that afternoon. In fact, the last person known to have seen him was his granddaughter, Haley Eunice Grant, who is also missing.
“Police declined to speculate as to the fate of Haley and her grandfather, seen in these photos taken last Christmas. However, Emily Grant, mother of Haley and daughter of Archie, spoke to reporters this morning.”
The tape rolls. “If anyone out there has seen either Haley or my father, please come forward. If you have taken them, please bring them back. Charges will not be filed. Haley, Dad, if one of you has taken the other one, please come home.”
“Powerful stuff. At this time, authorities cannot say whether these people have gone missing of their own accord or were taken by someone else. We’ll keep on top of this story as it unfolds.
“Up next, Ding-Ding the Panda has babies! Stay tuned.”
Chapter 18: The Destruction of Jared Syn
Archie and Haley turned toward the voice. Archie stepped in between Haley and the small hill behind which the voice seemed to come. He said, “We mean you no harm.”
Haley looked at him quizzically. “’We mean you no harm?’”
Archie glanced over his shoulder at her and shrugged. “Cliché, but true. Watch. In a minute I’ll ask him to take us to his leader.”
“You came from the sky,” said the gravelly voice in the distance. “You are from Lao. These are both mistakes on your part.”
Archie held his hands out in front of him, as if to stop a runaway shopping cart. “No, wait. You’ve got it all wrong. We escaped from Lao. Well, from his daughter, actually, if you want to get technical. We only wound up here by chance.”
“You adorn yourselves with the fibers of Lao.”
“Excuse me?” Archie asked.
“The woven fibers you have colored and draped upon your bodies.”
Archie looked down at himself, surprised to discover he was still wearing the stolen uniform Docian had cobbled together for him. “What, these?” Archie said, tugging at his lapels. “No, this was a disguise.”
Haley added, “I’m not even sure what I’m wearing is fabric, really. It may be a polymer of some sort.”
“Listen,” Archie requested, looking for a way out. “We don’t want any trouble. We’re not here to cause any trouble. You stay there behind your rock, and we’ll go…” Archie scanned the terrain quickly. “…over to that small stand of trees over there, and we’ll both forget we ever saw each other. What do you say?”
The boulder Archie had been addressing shifted, and started to rise off the ground. As it did so, it unfolded, producing a pair each of arms and legs. It elongated and swiveled, as if stretching after a long period of sitting still. Archie could see now that what he thought was the stony surface of a boulder was actually something softer and more malleable. Finally, what Archie assumed must be the thing’s head came into view as the creature rotated toward them. However, it did not stop when it faced the humans, but rather continued on until it spotted the trees Archie had mentioned moments earlier.
“Oh no,” moaned the earthen beast, “Copse.”
Archie lacked the wherewithal even to ask, “What the hell is going on?” Instead, he dumbly followed the glare of the creature before him until he, too, was staring at the stand of trees. They seem closer, he thought, idly.
That’s when they attacked. A trio of wooden javelins launched out of the woods and arched toward them. Haley screamed, grabbed her dumbstruck grandfather about the waist, and bodily hefted him behind one of the other boulders littering the field they were in. Then, she poked the boulder experimentally and cautiously whispered, “Hello?”
Meanwhile, the monstrous golem curled into a ball on the ground.
Two of the spears lodged themselves into the ground, sticking like a knife thrower’s greatest achievement. The third neatly impaled the strange being from almost directly above. It roared and fell splayed out on the ground, the giant wooden spike growing out of its back.
Haley checked Archie over for injuries. She felt something hard in one of the jacket pockets. She reached in and retrieved it.
“Hey,” Archie said, recovering the power of speech, “my death ray.”
Haley smiled. “How convenient is that?” She peeked over the boulder and took aim at the trees, looking for a target. “Where are they? I don’t see them.”
Archie leaned his back against the boulder. “Just fire. Maybe you’ll scare them off.” So she did.
A yellow lance of light burst forth from the pistol with a screech, streaking toward the isolated stand of trees. It entered the vegetation at about ten feet above the ground, scorching the wood as it passed. The trees shook, their limbs flailing, their leaves rustling. Then, they started moving away.
Haley watched in disbelief as the copse of trees retreated, back toward the larger forest just visible on the horizon. She fired again, aiming wide, and they picked up their pace. “Huh,” she said. “Ambulatory hardwood. How about that?”
“Help me,” moaned the creature. Archie and Haley came out from their hiding place and stood over the thing. “Remove the spear.”
“Do you think we should?” Haley asked Archie.
“I don’t know. He might bleed to death if we do. I saw that on TV.”
“No, please,” it pleaded. “I have no blood. Remove the spear before it takes root.” Archie crouched to get a better look at the injury. He did not see any blood, but he did see small tendrils reach out from the spear and dig themselves into the creature’s, for want of a better word, flesh.
“It’s growing,” he said incredulously.
“As I said,” the thing reminded him. “Hurry, before I am consumed.”
Archie stood upright again, put one foot on the creature’s back next to the wound, and grabbed the spear with both hands. It tickled his palms. “Help me out here, Haley.” She mimicked her grandfather. “Ready?”
“I have no idea, but let’s say yes.”
“All right, sir?” Archie said loudly. “This is probably going to hurt very much. If this kills you, we’re sorry.”
“Do it. I don’t feel what you would call—aaauughhh!!” Archie and Haley heaved on the spear, bringing out a small root ball with it, and leaving a gaping hole in the creature’s back. Together, they tossed it aside. Archie noticed that the other two spears had started sprouting leaves.
They stood back when the creature started to lumber to its feet. First, it pulled its arms and legs up under it, then pushed with them to raise himself to a crawling pose. With visible effort, he swung one leg around, braced himself with his opposite hand, and hoisted himself shakily upright.
The thing saw the two upright spears and thundered over to them. Taking each in turn into his powerful hands, he ripped them out of the soil. They had much larger root systems already than the one from his back. He snapped them in half and placed them on the tops of nearby boulders. He then did the same with the one Archie and Haley had discarded.
“They can’t grow on solid rock,” he explained, and knelt down next to one of the holes he had made during the uprooting. He slammed his fist into the hole and pulled out a large handful of earth, which he raised to the jagged crease in his head that must serve the function of a mouth, and ate.
“You have my thanks, meat.”
“Um, anytime?” Archie ventured.
“I am a proud Dirt Warrior. My name is A’Dobi.”
“Hi,” Haley said, extending her hand. “I’m Haley Grant. This is my grandfather, Archie.” The two empty pits where A’Dobi’s eyes should be stared uncomprehendingly at Haley’s gesture.
“Haleygrant, Mygrandfatherarchie, you should leave this place. It is too close to the forest. They will return soon.”
“You’re hurt,” Haley reminded him. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
A’Dobi turned his back on Haley. “It has already begun to heal.” Indeed, the hole was smaller than it was previously.
“Well, good,” Archie interjected. “Listen, on the subject of getting away from here, could you maybe point us in the right direction? Someplace where could, perhaps, find a ship and not too many questions?”
“Only the meat comes and goes from Clod. We mine for them. They come. They take. They leave.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. Sounds terrible. So, which way is it to where all this taking and leaving is going on?” Archie looked over both shoulders to emphasize his question.
“If it’s so dangerous,” Haley asked, having an entirely different conversation, “why are you sitting out here all alone?”
“The plants come closer all the time,” A’Dobi explained. “They want our dirt. They kill us to grow themselves. We must fight back. Every dirt warrior must kill his share.”
Haley commiserated. “That must be hard with your people being worked in the mines the way they are.”
“That is why I am alone.”
“Haley, come over here a minute. I want to talk to you.” Archie waved Haley out of earshot of A’Dobi. “What are you doing? We don’t need the giant dirt man’s life history. We need directions. We’re not getting involved.”
“But what if we can help them out of their plight?”
Archie pointed his finger in Haley’s face as if admonishing a bad dog. “No, Haley. This is not a cause. It’s not one of those things you do to try to save the planet, because we’re not on the planet! Okay? We don’t know these dirt people. Maybe they’re rotten folks who would be wreaking havoc on the place if they weren’t controlled.”
“And maybe they’re tragic noble warriors fighting an endless battle of survival.”
“Maybe they are,” Archie agreed. “But that’s beside the point. It’s not our business.”
“Sure it is, Grandpa!”
“What?”
“Look around,” Haley said, spreading her arms and spinning in place to encompass everything around them. “This place is something out of the silver age of science fiction. Oppressed peoples, an all-powerful evil ruler, spaceships, and islands floating in the sky, for crying out loud! And us, two strange visitors from Earth, outsiders who help the helpless, gain a cohort of staunch compatriots, conquer the forces of evil and bring freedom to everyone. I’ve read this sort of thing a thousand times.”
“Haley, no,” Archie commanded. “Neither one of us is cut out to be Dash Mercury here. Who we are, are two people dropped in the middle of a place and a situation we have absolutely no understanding of, surrounded by things, people, and things who are people that may very well decide to kill us without a second thought. We’re not heroes. We’re not following a script. We’re not guaranteed to win. This isn’t a game, and the more we try to stick our noses in, the more likely it is that we’ll annoy the wrong people, and die. Our only responsibilities here are to stay alive and to find a way to get back home. We can’t do anything to jeopardize that.”
“But….”
“No buts, Haley. What we’re going to do is leave here, go see the people Docian told us about, and hope they have some idea how to get us back where we came from. We don’t have the training, and I don’t have the physical ability to get involved in someone else’s war, no matter how cool it would be to swing in on a rope and save the day. So, knock it off, and keep your head down.”
“So, you admit it would be cool to be the hero.”
“Of course. I was young once.”
Haley changed subjects. “All right. We still need to go find Docian before we leave this place. He still has the key to the machine.”
Archie shook his head, “I’m still not convinced he was telling us the truth about that. For all we know, whatever that machine was is commonly used technology here.”
“But, Grandpa, Effulgia kept asking me questions about the machine and where we came from. If she really is the daughter of the ruler of pretty much everything here, why wouldn’t she know about it if it is common knowledge?”
“I didn’t see him jump out of the ship. Granted, I was a little busy at the time. But we have no way of knowing if he’s even still alive.”
“Dead or alive, he would still have the key. If he doesn’t show up where he told us to meet him, then we go try to find the body.”
“What? You expect me to go traipsing around this place, hither and yon, on the off chance that we’ll find one small crashed spaceship or one even smaller dead guy in the middle of all this uncharted wilderness, amidst unknown dangers we have almost no chance of defending ourselves against?”
“I don’t see that we have much choice,” Haley said. Holding up the pistol, she added, “Besides, we do have your death ray.”
Archie thought for a long time before relenting. “Okay, good point.” He scanned the distant terrain and spotted the stone spire Docian had indicated as their meeting spot. Then, he stepped toward the dirt warrior and said, “Excuse me – A’Dobi, was it? – Listen, we need to get over to that stone tower over there.” The dirt man pivoted to look at Archie, so Archie pointed toward his goal. “Do you know anything about it? Is it hard to get to? Anything we need to worry about on the way there?”
A’Dobi’s head rotated to face the store spire. “It is half a day’s travel away. You would never make it alive.”
Archie mumbled, “Well, that’s encouraging.”
A’Dobi continued, “The conflict between my people and the plants is an ancient one, old before men of meat ever came to Clod. We shall never know peace as long as we share this land. However, we agree that your kind is a scourge on both our peoples. Two of you, alone and unarmed, would be set upon by anyone you meet, vegetable or mineral.”
“That’s that, I guess,” Archie relented.
A’Dobi continued, “You saved my life. I will escort you. Perhaps my presence will deter at least my own people from attacking immediately.”
“See, Grandpa, we’re making allies.”
A’Dobi looked skyward. The dome of light had grown a large black spot in the center. “The day grows late. Today, you come to my village. Tomorrow, I will take you to the spire.”
“Great!” Haley exclaimed.
Archie held up a finger. “Um, didn’t you say that Emperor Lao’s men were here? Won’t they notice a couple of meat bags wandering around your town?”
“Other visitors are not unknown to us. Traders come and go. Men load and unload cargo ships. Merchants offer goods and services to each other. You will not be the only meat.”
