Seriously. If some rich liberal wants to cut me a big check, I will go to town hall meetings and try to sway senators and Congressmen in favor of nationalized health care. I doesn’t even have to be my representatives. I’m happy to travel, if all expenses are paid. Give me a check with enough zeroes on it, and I’ll lay more astroturf than a football stadium.

I’m college-educated, fit the conservative stereotypes (white, male, from the south), and do not fear public speaking. And I’ve got diabetes, so the health care system affects me directly every single day. I’ve got credibility out the wazoo.

DNC, Soros, ACORN, I don’t care who signs the check. In this economy, I need some supplemental income. If somebody’s giving it away, I’ll take it. I’ll carry signs. I’ll wear silly outfits. I once won an award for chanting. I won’t beat anybody up, but I’d be happy to menace. People tell me I can be menacing.

Come on, left-wing money men! Let me be your protest whore.

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